By: brandonpromo
A few things triggered this blog entry today, but my daughter is the number one reason, as it’s Father’s Day. There are negative and positive ways to position this theory of mine, so I’ll do just that.
I never thought being a Dad could ever be so rewarding. Rewarding on levels I would’ve never imagined. Falling in love with my wife all over again, seeing her become the amazing mother she is today. It’s a new “in love” feeling that I can’t quite describe, but it’s deep and awesome! There are so many examples like this that I could describe, it’s a blessing beyond words.
So, back to where I began…
I’ve learned over the years raising our little girl, that little things that we may take for granted or, just don’t realize, go away. Back in the day when we had a newborn and for the first year of her life, she would fall asleep in my lap and arms with a bottle every single night. I would then take her to her crib for the night. It was my absolute FAVORITE thing about my evenings after work at the time. Well, one day and I can’t tell you when, it stopped and I don’t remember the last time, I just remember doing it back then and how much joy it brought me to bond with her in such a way.
Now, this is not negative in any sort of way. These were times I cherish and will always be able to go back in time by memory. However, would I have liked to live more “in the moment” during those times? Yes!! That’s the downside to me. I’d do anything to enjoy just one more of those nights with her. Seriously, just about anything.
People that know me well, know that I can’t stand limelight and being the center of attention. I’m shy when any type of camera is around and will quickly run away in a New York minute. I spent most of my teenage years and early 20’s as a DJ in nightclubs. I loved being behind the decks, but hated dancing! I mean any kind of dancing. I’m a strange one, that’s super introverted, but I can open up at times. (For another time)
So, my daughter loves to dance, and she does so, nightly and I love watching her. She’s at some of her happiest times just dancing the night away and I love it. The new me dances with her, of course. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let my awkwardness get in the way of sharing these precious moments with her. I can sweat and deal with the anxiety of it all just to hear that laugh and see that smile that melts my heart over and over again and again! Trust me, it’s worth it, because one day, she won’t ask me to dance with her. One day, I may not be able to for so many unforeseen reasons that are out of my control. So, dance I will…
This takes me to the negative portion, I guess…
It’s hard for me to accept life on life’s terms at times. Certain fears I have come to mind and those are things also out of my control. Things like death and tragedy. Life’s terms, life’s way, right? Yes, and this is why I dance! This is why I live in each moment as if it’s my last for her. The ugly truth is it could be, and I don’t want regret in my life on any level. Think about it, if you can… Playing catch with Dad, going to the movies, an adorable 4-year old’s tap on your shoulder to turn around and find a kiss waiting for you. There’s absolutely one day coming where I won’t get that again. She will be too cool or maybe even married? Either way, in my honest opinion, if you don’t soak in each moment with your kids as if it could be your last, you will miss the last time it happens.
All I’m really getting at with all of this, is live in the moments that make us push forward and strive to be better individuals/humans. Always be kind and give your time. Don’t live in the past or dwell, it only hinders your efforts to focus on the smiles all around you in the moment. Tomorrow will come soon enough, just live in that very moment and give it your everything, because one day, that one moment, that you may or may not have taken for granted, will be it’s very last.
Happy Fathers Day, Dads!!
brandonpromo <3
P.S.
I’m not a huge country music fan, but I do love some songs and my daughter’s song is indeed country. She doesn’t know it well yet, but hopefully it will bring a touch or window into how she makes me feel and how she changed me as a person… Video below and I’m pretty sure he wrote this for his wife, but this, to me, is about my little girl…
